Back to the Drawing Board

 

There was a point in my life where when I wanted to grow up and become a successful business women that worked in a 'tall building and carried a briefcase'. 

Even before that though, my number one goal in life had always been to be a mom. I remember praying so hard for my little sister (who is 10 years younger than me). It was the best day ever when my parents brought her home. She was my baby and I was her mom. 

It's all I've ever wanted. 

One thing I wish I didn't have to deal with during this pregnancy is trying to line up childcare for when I return to work. Ever since seeing those two pink lines, I've been so unmotivated with work. All I've wanted to do is stay home and nest: 

Create the picture perfect nursery for Kingston. 

Clean our apartment from top to bottom. 

Organize, organize, organize. 

Mommy blog. 

Unfortunately, the life CT and I choose to live (poor people with rich taste) mixed with the amount of student loans we have - it's just not possible for me to stay home with our kiddos. Not yet anyways. Plus, I have a job that's almost too good to be true. It would be stupid to leave it. 

Anyways, we had a sitter lined up - but it's looking like it's not going to work out. 

It's tough finding someone you trust enough to help you raise your kids. Someone that is safe, nurturing, who doesn't charge and arm and and leg, someone that will work with a teachers schedule (snow days, holidays, summers off), and with us - someone who will help us in our choice to cloth diaper. 

Back to the drawing board it is. 

I've learned that those sitters are rare gems and most people aren't willing to give up their people. 

Someone just help a sista out!